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For this month's T-SQL Tuesday, Brent Ozar (blog|Instagram) asks us to describe the most recent ticket we closed. “We had a pretty significant wait spike…” The literal last ticket I closed was “please run this script in production…”, and I don’t think it …
Continue readingQuestion I'm passing a JSON string to a stored procedure in order to insert warehouse inventory. Sometimes, there will be multiple line items with the same product, going to the same shelf, on the same pallet (LPN), with the same date. I would like to …
Continue readingI recently saw a question on DBA Stack Exchange (it has since been deleted by the author), who had a “special process” that ran regularly, and as part of that process, they disabled the trigger, did some stuff, and re-enabled it. During that process, the step …
Continue readingElphaba the pup is growing up! I'm not going to beat around the bush. I hate the `SERVERPROPERTY()` and `DATABASEPROPERTYEX()` system functions. Loathing The thing I hate the most about these two functions is that you need to know the right magic spells to …
Continue readingThis is our puppy Elphaba. She's from Oz...No, the other Oz. She's popular. There was a recent post on Database Administrators, where there was some confusion over Daylight Saving Time(DST) in Australian timezones. Let’s be honest though–timezones are …
Continue readingCaterpillars transform into beautiful butterflies to realize their full self, much in the same way CONVERT() changes binary into beautiful hexadecimal strings. Since I started at Stack Overflow, I’ve had the chance to see some of the interesting challenges …
Continue readingThis is Callie. She has nothing to do with DMVs, but isn't she cute?! SQL Server 2005 introduced Dynamic Management Views(DMVs). Technically, there are both views & functions–DMVs & DMFs, but colloquially they’re often simply referred to as just “DMVs”. DMVs …
Continue readingWe’ve all been there. You’ve got a query where the JOIN or WHERE predicate is not SARGable. You’ve read about how this can be a problem, and how bad it is for performance. Alas, you cannot change the query. Sometimes this reason is political, sometimes it’s …
Continue readingDropping tempdb files like they're hot I recently came across a server where tempdb was breaking all the rules. Data files were all different sizes. I want all data files to be the same size so that proportional fill uses them evenly. There were 10 tempdb …
Continue readingAaron attempting a STONE_SPLIT at a recent curling competition. This morning, my friend Aaron Bertrand (blog|twitter) posted a plea for help with STRING_SPLIT() improvements. I'm very much in Aaron's corner on this, having written about the olden days myself. …
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